The Hard Lesson at Christmas for a Pastor

God speaks . . . always . . . we just have to be still to listen!

It’s a hard lesson for a pastor at Christmas.

The past two Saturdays have been doing various mission things . . . one working the Home Tour – the next wrapping angel tree gifts and I would not trade that activity for anything! It is now a Smith Family Tradition. BUT because we weren’t home on Saturday and one of the offspring had activities on Friday night, there is STILL no tree in our home decorated for Christmas.

Someone was commenting to me on Sunday – why weren’t my kids NUTS about not having a tree? They couldn’t believe we didn’t have that tradition of really being psyched about a tree. If it weren't for me - I 'm not sure the Smith's would have one at all!

Now all that happened AFTER what was to be one of our most powerful worship services to date began w/ ZZ Top playing through the sound system and playing “She’s Got Legs!” . . and out I walk . . . THEN it launched into the Spice Girls during the scrolling announcements, the song will remain nameless! ;)

But back to the tradition thing - that has weighed heavy on my mind and heart all week . . . . have I cheated my kids out of traditions because of “work”?

Yesterday was just normal Monday stuff with a few wrenches thrown in . . . . things not working out with some elements of worship, our India partnership not going well and us needing to make a final decision about that, then today I guess all the stress of the past few weeks caught up and I just had a few “moments” of self doubt, maybe even pity, and wondering . . . what else could I do? Maybe I’m doing some things wrong and that’s why this is difficult – I need to figure that out and fix it.

Just when I was ready to wave the white flag and give up on a few things I got an email from a friend. “Have you considered being still and listening to God? I don’t mean to be cliché but just listen and relax.”

I decided, “Ok. I will. No email, no nothing – just being still!”

After about 5 minutes the phone rang. It was Samaritan’s Feet with absolutely the best, most well rounded, educated, passionate conversation about international missions. We talked for 45 minutes regarding our current relationships and then we ended the talk with a new hope in my heart and soul for where God is leading WCUMC, both campuses. Then about 15 minutes later the other Samaritan’s Feet contact called and we talked for 45 minutes as well – truly two conversations that were directed by God! Not only did it solve the current dilemma but it also gave meaning and purpose to our other international mission project – the Deaf Village in Mandeville. Samaritan’s Feet has some other folks looking for that type of connection b/c they wanted to help. We were able to provide our contact information for them to Samaritan’s Feet! These were TRULY God things! Thus the name of the blog, “IT’s those things again!”

I finally had some peace and hope for what could be and what could come! The hole in my heart and weight I had been carried around dissolved and healed with one phone conversation when I finally let it go and gave it to God.

THEN I looked at my paper calendar (b/c I have been doing a bad job putting things on my calendar b/c we’ve been w/o a secretary for a few months) and I noticed I was supposed to be at Davidson UMC for an interview in 45 minutes to continue in the ordination process (probably the most important interview all year) and I had forgotten all about it. In fact, had I not talked to another staff person and they made a comment about the senior pastor being in a meeting all day (he is on the committee) and that jarred my memory! I ran to my paper calendar – saw it on a Tuesday at 3pm so I put makeup on my very weary face and tore off to Davidson!

So it wasn’t shocking today when I got the date mixed up for my DBOM interview!!!! ;) I showed up a week early . . . . . I think I scared the other two women there who are up for commissioning. When I got there and someone else was already there – I knew I had messed up . . . NOTHING would have surprised me today! So I just sat there – I figured if they came out, called her in and that was the last interview of the day then I would come back home, look it up on the form, and go another day. I knew the time of 3pm was right- I just didn’t know what day! They were there w/ notebooks, suits, etc. and here I come in – nothing in my hands and certainly not in a suit.

She asked me, “Are you here for an interview?” and I replied yes and then she went into a long explanation about how she had her paper, she then got it out –looked at it again, etc. I ASSURED HER . . “if anyone messed up today – it is me. Trust me, I’m sure you are right.”

Well it evidentially bothered her that I didn’t leave so she asked me “well, are you just going to sit here and stay?” I replied yes, until they came to get her, that my senior pastor was in the room and I would confirm that I didn’t miss the meeting earlier that day and then leave. She just stared at me – which by now – really. I’m ok w/ about anything . . . . .

So – then the other lady in the interview came out – they knew each other so they chatted, then they both started staring at me again. I just volunteered “I’m here on the wrong day or at the wrong time. I’ll figure it out and I’ll be ok.” They looked at each other . . . I’m sure they thought “she’s a freak!” :)

Then the first lady asked me who my senior pastor was. I told her. Then the other lady said, “You sound familiar. And you look familiar. Williamson’s?” I told her yes, then she called me by name. She told me I did the prayer at the UMW district meeting a year and a half ago and then she said, “Oh, you launched the West Campus, I read it in the conference newsletter . . .” and she started talking about whether or not it was successful, that she thought it was, did I think it was gauged as a success?

I don’t have a “yes” b/c who am I to say that? I replied that we are having fun while we are trying to fulfill the mission of the church and every Sunday is an adventure. (I left out that on Sunday ZZ Top and Spice Girls accidentally played on the iPod during the service – that would have most likely sent them right on over the edge!)

Anyway – they just stared at me some more.

Then – in my bizarreness – I said, “Maybe I’ll hide in here while they call you just to make sure I didn’t miss my interview.” I don’t think they appreciated my idea of hiding . . .

Then – as I finally decided to leave – which they both agreed was a good idea . . . . I said, “Good luck on your commissioning. I am sure you will do well! One thing that was helpful for me was I had a couple of friends in the conference that had already been through the Conference BOM and they read my papers. I would be more than happy to read your papers if you want me to.” They both quickly and assuredly said they felt like they were ok! :) (by the way – I did remark earlier that maybe it was a good thing that my interview was a different day b/c I had not done my paperwork yet b/c I forgot and now I could do it) They probably thought I was going to copy their papers!!!!!!

So . . .. . . I finally left – and I could see the look on Rob’s face as I walked down the hall – he looked a little surprised. (I had contemplated crawling under the window of the door but I figured that truly would send those women into hysterics BUT if it had just been me in that hallway - down I would've gone - on all 4's crawling my way to safety of embarrassment!

My desire to avoid my senior pastor was because last week I had the dates of the staff Christmas party and the church administrative board dinner wrong – I had them both down for last week and they are this week. He told me that at the rate I was going I’d have Christmas Eve services this Friday! And he may be right!!!!!

The funniest thing of the whole thing – I was so perplexed as to why they were staring at me . . . I realized when I got home – I had my jewelry on all backwards. It too was bizarre looking!

In the absolute chaos emotionally and spiritually today I came upon the stark realization that my problem has been I have stopped listening. No devotions lately – no time just to “listen” to God and what he has to say to me. How can I lead if I am not listening? It's time for this old girl to listen. Past time . . . . what have I missed because I have forgotten AGAIN to listen!?!?!?!

That’s one reason we are going to offer a daily reading as a campus beginning January 1. The Bibles will be in the bookstore and the readings will be posted on our webpage.

“The God Sightings Bible” will be the version we use and it is available for $14 in the Plugged In Tent.

I also will be joining a West LifeGroup! I need friends to be in this journey with me, praying for me and me for them, lifting up one another as we go together and grow together in our faith. I hope you will prayerfully consider being a part of this too!

Until Sunday - Merry Peaceful Christmas!